Me thinking (¬_¬ )

Food Waste in America: A Comedic Tragedy

Ah, food. The great unifier of people. Whether it’s a Michelin-star meal or a bag of gas station chips, food brings us together. But here in the United States, we’ve turned this unifying joy into an Olympic-level tragedy: food waste. Yes, we waste about 40% of all food grown and produced, which is quite an accomplishment when you consider that many of us still eat leftover pizza that’s old enough to vote. What's more tragic (and frankly ridiculous) is that despite this massive food waste, roughly 13.5% of U.S. households—that’s 18 million families—struggled with food insecurity in 2023. Yes, while perfectly edible bananas are tossed because they dared to develop a spot, people are going hungry. Way to go, us! (Thanks, USDA report, for confirming our absurdity.)

Let’s start with the problem. Imagine a farmer. He wakes up at dawn, tends to his crops, pours his soul into growing the juiciest tomatoes this side of Italy, and then ships them off to a grocery store where they sit… and sit… until someone decides that the slightly wrinkled tomato is unfit for human consumption. Into the trash it goes, not because it’s bad, but because it’s not pretty. Beauty standards for produce? Who knew tomatoes needed a publicist?

But the problem isn’t just cosmetic. No, no. It’s also about portion sizes. Restaurants, bless their hearts, seem to think we all have the stomach capacity of competitive eaters. Have you ever ordered a plate of spaghetti and wondered if they expect you to share it with the entire table? Well, they don’t. Most of it ends up in the bin, alongside our good intentions and gym memberships.

So what can be done? For starters, let’s get over our obsession with food perfection. A carrot doesn’t need to look like a supermodel to taste good. If it’s a little crooked or has an extra appendage, who cares? It’s still going in your soup, not walking a runway. Grocery stores should embrace these quirky veggies instead of sending them straight to the compost heap.

Then there’s the matter of leftovers. Americans treat leftovers like exes: once they’ve been on the table, we pretend they never existed. But leftovers are a gift, people! They’re the lazy person’s meal prep, and yet, we toss them out faster than you can say “Tupperware.” A simple solution? Portion control. Ask for a smaller plate, or better yet, split your meal with a friend. Sharing is caring, and it’s way less awkward than asking the waiter for a box and then never eating the food you brought home.

What are the options, you ask? Well, we could compost. It’s the circle of life, Simba! Instead of tossing food in the trash where it contributes to methane emissions, why not let it decompose naturally and nourish the earth? It’s like karma for your kale.

And let’s not forget technology. Apps like “To Good To Go” allow restaurants to sell surplus food at a discount. It’s like a treasure hunt, except instead of gold, you get day-old pastries, which, let’s be honest, are better than gold anyway.

Now, onto the conclusion—because even essays need to wrap things up before they overstay their welcome. Food waste is a monumental issue, but it’s also one we can tackle with a bit of effort and a healthy dose of humor. Start small: buy the ugly vegetables, embrace leftovers, and stop treating expiration dates like gospel (a yogurt that’s one day past its “best by” date isn’t going to kill you; if anything, it builds character).

And remember, folks, wasting food isn’t just bad for the planet—it’s a slap in the face to all those farmers, chefs, and delivery drivers who work so hard to bring it to us. So let’s raise a toast (preferably made from slightly stale bread) to a future with less waste, more taste, and the realization that no tomato deserves to die in vain.

Notes:

#food #food-waste